Tag Archives: affection

Adrift

Author’s note: sometimes I find it interesting to see how a poem evolves. So, here’s one that started as a somewhat freestyle poem, that, after time passed, I decided to turn into a sauna sonnet.

Freestyle

Empty hole
In core of his soul.
He forgot his goals.
Time galore, but still needs more.
Missing half amplifies 
Ambition lost;
Life simplifies
But at what cost?
Time now consumed by adult toddler
Who, when he was a toddler, was his coddler.
And feverishly, manically recalling
Memories of the missing, haunting and enthralling.
The missing becomes his poem,
In danger of being lost forever,
The bliss and glad life
No longer its own witness.

Sauna Sonnet

Introspection: he finds an empty hole
Down deep in the core of his troubled soul;
Goals forgot when he set out to explore.
He had time galore, but still he needs more.
It seems the missing piece now amplifies
Several signals of his ambition lost;
Bittersweet: he finds his life simplifies,
His schedule now streamlined, but at what cost?
Time now consumed by an adult toddler,
Who was, when he was a toddler, coddler.
And feverish, manically recalling
Memories of the missing—enthralling,
Haunting—the missing becomes his poem,
Bliss and glad life, no longer witness own.

Copyright ©️ 2025 H.K. Longmore

Desert Seven

Israel, born Jacob, lived in desert heat,
Where at the well he and Rachel did meet.
I sit in sauna heat, thoughts turned to him.
Surely his heart filled with vigor and vim,
As he bargained for Rachel as his bride;
Seven years work, then she'd be at his side.
Fast-forward to appointed wedding day,
Israel finds out too late: he was betrayed.
Leah now his wife; Laban struck new deal:
Another seven for Rachel's hand for real.
Israel now juggles wife and idea:
Courting Rachel while married to Leah.
The solution for Israel was simplex;
The execution by hearts made complex.

Copyright ©️ 2024 H.K. Longmore

Retraction

A simple question asked,
Not a complicated answer,
But with distance now tasked,
He'd rather die slowly of cancer.
Emotional and physical withdrawal,
With no opportunity to discuss,
He'd rather chaw on uncooked chawal
Than watch spoken words repercuss.
Copyright ©️ 2024 H.K. Longmore

Vacant Echoes

Adductors: his vacant stare sees right past
But sees just short of bench where sits some lass
As she works her core, so through to her core
His eyes pierce as some demigod of lore.
Intrigued, she wonders what his eyes might see, 
But his eyes see nothing to bring him vim,
Just another human at the same gym.
Drenched in pensive fluid: wooden bench's salt sea;
Patiently replaying past episodes,
His focus lost in the past—Heaven's odes—
Sees another young woman in his mind:
Dark hair, middle part, bun or tail behind.
Unspoken echoes cloud the mind, her face
Unseen in vacant echoes of the night.

Author’s note: this takes some bits and pieces from an unpublished poem that evolved over the course of about a year. One version of that poem took a dark turn after six or seven stanzas. One version was too much of a “when you know what you don’t know” situation. The most recent version of that poem doesn’t end as hopefully as I would like, though I think it does capture the sentiment of “things are falling apart, no matter what I try to do to hold them together,” or, “this is not how I pictured things would be a year ago” with an unstated “can we go back a year and get a do-over?” I generally liked that poem, but it was maybe too personal, and in some minds, lacking context, could be seriously misunderstood. So, I’ve opted to canabalize that one in favor of other art.

My first attempt at this poem, on the other hand, was the inspiration for Trashed.

Copyright © 2024 H.K. Longmore

Beach Wreck

Author’s note: I initially titled this “#4” because it was the fourth of my “sauna sonnet” series, and I was trying to develop a habit of writing sonnets in the sauna during my post-strength-training sauna sessions. Lest some future historian discover my poetry and chide me for such an unimaginative title, I decided to give it a different name.

Across the distance of days long and dark,
And through fields littered with chords from our past,
Solace seek in knowledge, high water mark,
Try to make joy brought by your grand smiles last.
But it's been so long, the miles fade away,
White sands pass o'er the wings of time, beach-wrecked.
Waves at my feet mock recall of that day,
Digital palms lessen rip tide's effect.
I do not fear the shame of going back,
Nor the possibility I yet lack,
But if I see your face never again
I'll let sands trade sanity for bliss,
Dreaming always of that last parting kiss
We never had, through one lifetime or ten.

Copyright ©️ 2024 H.K. Longmore

Hanging On Too Long

Sentimental doesn't do it justice,
It lacks the depth of hope unrelenting.
Delusional doesn't account, just this
Doubt for which I'm constantly repenting.
Hope springs eternal, but muddied waters
Are wont to flow from a well nigh to dry.
The flame, of hope, of love, burns far hotter
Though it be quenched by eyes too dry to cry.
Yet in holding on too long, I may lose:
I may not see missed opportunity;
May not catch meaning of your fleeting glance;
Until it's too late, and time seals my fate—
But I'll hope and pray that you may perchance
On rethought, let Cupid's arrow find mate.

Copyright ©️ 2024 H.K. Longmore

Don’t Die

"Don't die!" she said.
The words echo through his noggin.
"I'm trying not to," he casts his reply
Into the night sky, into the past.
Years have passed since that sentiment
Was testament to her heart.
What ails him now may be more
Than his level ten nature mage's ken.
He's giving it time,
But each day the problem festers,
If color and intensity and size
Are fine attestors, the problem is winning.
Thoughts spin back to the start:
Conceptual change and a heart to mend,
The power of forgetting found.
He rethinks the time approach.
Perhaps necrotic tissue
The issue has become,
A dermatologist
May get to the bottom of this.

Copyright © 2023 H.K. Longmore

Statistically Significant

Author’s note; I wrote this a while back, but decided enough time has passed, that it was time to dust it off and put it out in the visible universe.

Apart so long,
His heart began
A mournful song,
For his tears to gan.

Desire to see her
Once again, intensifies;
Until similar features
Trick his eyes:

Others, he knows,
Are not her,
Yet seem for a moment
They could be.

These hold his gaze
Until at last
He is satisfied
They are too dissimilar.

But it seems
The greater his longing,
The less similar
Another must look;

At what degree of dissimilarity
Will his eyes cease their tricks?
What is the threshold to keep them
Statistically significant?

©2023 H.K. Longmore

Donuts in an Empty Parking Lot

“You seem hesitant.”
The words echo in temporal space.
From squamous to sphenoid,
Thoughts race.

“Go away,” spoken to a notification.
Stirs up memories vague.
Emotional power of the plague,
Positives lean toward negation.

A fact shared
Or omitted—
Scale tared,
Over-analysis committed.

Grief Tantalean
Becomes grief obsess-ean;
Grief Promethean.

Relief
Requires efforts Herculean.
Answers Protean.

Seize seal shepherd
From behind; hold tight
While shapes shift for fright.
At last a voice heard:

“Son of Atreus,
What do you want from me?”
From mental prison to be freed,
To know what will be.

“Son of Atreus,
Why ask me thus?
Better for you not to know,
Not to learn what my mind holds.”

No future glimpse,
No respite from second guesses.
Seek out Tantalus,
Offspring of Zeus and nymph.

Parched tongue and lips
Inquired why, hands on hips.
Swift reply
With heavy sigh:

To drink, and not thirst;
To eat, and be sated.
“Me first,”
Tantalus waited.

Hands a scoop,
Water-soup
Brought to lips;
Fruit of bough
Into mouth slipped.

“You want to do donuts in an empty parking lot,
You want to put an end to over-thought;
To heal from childhood fears,
And teenage years,

“To not have your confidence
Stolen by the thief
Of yester-years’ defeats,
Nor drained by consequence

“Of verbal wounds, real;
Inflicting damage still;
Wounds that change perceive,
When only perception changed, self-deceived.

“You’ll have to wait until it snows.”
But there is another way I know.

© 2021 H.K. Longmore

Tantalus Lookout is to the left of this picture; as in, Diamond Head is visible from Tantalus Lookout.

Melody and Counter

It was years ago,
But I wish it were only yesterday.
You were there,
Yes, you were there.

Melody to my counter melody,
And encouragement
For my improvement,
As my part I could not play.

Time and songs,
Performances, recitals passed.
I found a way to remember,
To improve:

I’d retreat to the river,
To the bridge;
Where I would be heard,
With none to harmonize.

At rehearsal last,
Familiar piece in folder found—
Dusted off for Christmastime;
Still I had the counter.

Remembering my old struggle,
I began to fret;
You still had the melody,
But you were absent yet.

And you still had
The encouragement,
If only in my mind;
Your words, your melody I recalled.

I played alone
And played it well;
Praise for impromptu solo
I received.

Where thanks for praise should have flowed,
My tongue instead remarked
How incomplete I, counter melody,
Was without you, melody.

How incomplete I was without you.

© 2018 H.K. Longmore

Freeway Exit

She glances in her mirror,
She’s taken with what she sees.
At once she feels the need to clean—
A cloth or tissue at hand,
Red light gives time
For her to clean the dash,
Clean the controls,

She tosses her hair,
Checks the side mirror
Lest he is not watching;
And seeing he sees,
Resumes.

She tosses her hair,
Then rinse and repeat,
With a few mirror checks
Thrown in for good measure.

Light turns green,
She sees he sees,
Tosses her hair,
Advances.

Light turns yellow,
She goes through;
Her eyes bid him follow
Despite the red.

Follow he would,
But she is not you.

Silent Witness

She looks to Sir Moon,
Wondering what he’s feeling
She pours out her heart.

Full Spring Moon listens,
Reflected in the river
Beside which he plays.

If He had a mouth,
Sir Moon would surely reply,
Would tell what He knows.

Of what would He tell?
He would sing what the bridge hears,
What the river sees.

The river sees brass,
Its appearance like silver,
Twelve feet, conical.

The bridge hears a song,
Improvised and repeated,
A song from his heart.

Sir Moon would replay
What the concrete barrier
Echoes to the reeds;

What the ducks and geese
Mistake for a lullaby
As they seek out sleep.

But Sir Moon stays mute,
His heart moved by maudlin song
Played to still her heart.

© 2017 H.K. Longmore